Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Leap Day Weigh in

Well after a imperfect week, I had a decent result on the scales this morning....
85.4kg... a loss of 1.1 this week.

Interesting week... some minor diet indiscretions, some big fitness wins (1220 cals burned yesterday!), and some big things happening in life in general.
Got through my daughters birthday party at McDonalds on Sunday, guilt free!
Got offered and accepted a new job at work, which is a big change for me, but I figured nothing ventured nothing gained.

Today is leap day, and thank goodness because I needed the extra day in the month to complete February's 100km challenge (to walk run 100km over Feb).... I am sitting at 98.5km for the month, so need to knock off 1.5 kms today.

My youngest daughter is having surgery tomorrow, so I will be spending all day at the hospital.  A real red flag day , because #1 I worry, and eat when I am stressed, #2 I'm sitting around a hospital all day, and popping to the cafe is something to do,  #3 the options at this hospital's cafe are not the best.   So I need to be very prepared and very strong tomorrow.

Week 3 of the challenge, Michelle says it's traditionally the hardest week, and I'd have to say I struggled with the mental battle this week. I'm tired and did put a few bad things in my mouth this week, so I can see what she means.

On a side note though, I have booked flights to Melbourne to attend the May 19 12WBT Finale with Michelle.  Cass, and Mel are coming too.  It gives a  greatt goal to focus on, and will be the ultimate reward for all the hard work.

Saturday, February 25, 2012


In the 12 week program, we have set some milestones to achieve, at about week 4, week 8 and week 12. We're about to embark on week 3, so I'm a week or two early but I wanted to give my self a practise attempt first for my first milestone.... just in case I needed to work up to it.

My first Milestone that I set myself was to run a lap of the Regatta Waters Lake.
Aerial Shot of my Lake.
My Beautiful lake - a pic taken the other night after the storm,
by a local man from "Higgins Storm Chasing"  Just gorgeous.
So this morning I got up and into my exercise gear before my mind had a chance to argue, and I set of on my misson.  I knew the lake track was approximately 4km, and the most that I had run without stopping was about 1.5km... so I was a bit apprehensive.
However I also really wanted to achieve this, so I had written it in my diary, I told heaps of people that I was going to try it, and I even wrote it on my blog.

So I had the goal, and I had the determination, but I also had an internal battle going on between Unhealthy me, and Healthy me.   Unhealthy Me came up with sooooooo many excuses, Healthy Me stood strong.

the Internal dialogue went something like this....

U.M. Oh it's raining, we can't go
H.M. ah... correction, it WAS raining, it's not now, and even if it was.. you are not made of sugar!

U.M. You can't do this you know, you'll quit
H.M. I can do this, it doesn't matter how much it hurts or how slow I go, I'm not going to stop running

U.M. Well, you will let me stop at the water fountains? I will die if I don't get water.
H.M. You can drink after, you will not die.

U.M. OOOh look there are puddles, we have to stop and walk through those, or we might slip.
H.M. No we will run carefully through them

U.M. Owww our legs hurt
H.M. It will pass, once we go from Anaerobic to Aerobic it will be more comfortable. Hang in there.

U.M. Hey theres another runner, we better pull to the side and wait for them to pass

H.M. The path is more than wide enough for both of us.

U.M. We look stupid, we are not made for running. I bet those people are thinking how pathetic we are.

H.M. I don't care.

U.M. We're halfway, that's enough isn't it?

H.M. No

U.M. We are running so slow, we would be faster if we walked
H.M. Speed is not the issue, we are not walking

U.M. We have run further than ever before, haven't we proven a point already?
H.M. NO!

U.M. Owww, our back hurts
H.M. Suck it up, not far to go now... we can see the end.

U.M. There is the exit path, can we stop now

H.M. ah... correction, that is where we used to stop our walk, that is not a complete lap from where we started.. Stop trying to cheat me.

U.M. We are there! We can stop now.

H.M. We are there! We can stop now. I am proud of you.

So there we have it. I DID IT!
My ipod was serendipitously playing "I made it" by Kevin Rudolph as I stepped over the line that marked one full lap.

Distance: 3.95km
Time: 33.27 mins
Avergage Speed : 8.28 mins per km.
HRM Cals burned: 488 (incl walk to & from start)
and my evidence that I actually did it!
Screen shot from the Runkeeper App

So I can now tick of more mini goals from my list.

Friday, February 24, 2012

The Danger Zone...

I have reached that point in my weight loss... my danger zone, I have been here before... its when I have lost about 13 kg, when I get to 86-88kg, .... i seem to derail myself and fall off the wagon.
A small fall off the wagon isn't the end of the world, but it is a major problem if you dont get back on at all.
You see back in 2004ish. I lost 13 kgs on weight-watchers, I actually got down to 75 kg, and I put it all back on...and then some. 
Then again in 2006/7 I lost 13 kg, and it slowly crept back on.

Right now I have lost 13.4kg, and whether it's rational or not, I'm worried that I am going to repeat this behaviour.
I'm trying to figure out if I self sabotage, or I just get lazy and take my foot of pedal when it starts to get harder.  Is it because so many people are saying how good I look, I'm into size 14 clothing, I like what I see in the mirror a lot more... that 'Unhealthy Me' says, "Yeah thats enough, now we can relax". She came with me, without putting up to much of a fight to get to this stage... you know, we've done this before, but now we get to this stage of having to cross this psychological barrier to keep going, and she's freaking out... "You mean, we have to keep going?" 

Truth is...I HAVE taken my foot off the pedal.
I AM losing focus.
I HAVE been getting lazy, and not weighing my food properly... guestimates are dangerous!
I HAVE been using excuses.. Yes it's do something else.
I HAVE been having cravings, haven't given in yet, but my resolve is weakening.
I HAVE been thinking, this is getting too hard...

My weigh in this Wednesday was 86.5, only a 700g loss... an I am only just getting around to telling you.
I am seriously  worried about next weeks weigh-in.

Michelle's Mindset lesson this week, was all about self sabotage. She asked us to really think about weather we do lay traps for us to fall into, weather we are truly a 'self saboteur'  or if we just haven't learned all the tools we need to succeed.
She said real self sabotage comes from a dark place, from a real deep down internal dialogue, where I didn't really ever believe it could do this, where deep down I believe I am useless, fat, lazy and pathetic...  Well I do think I am a self saboteur .  I really really do want this dream, but I do believe that deep down my true feelings, and beliefs are that I'm never going to be that person that I dream of.

So I need to do some work to change that... I think I have made huge improvements, but I am not sure I have won the battle yet. It comes down to a choice... do I choose to be Healthy, Thin, Active, and do what it takes to be that?  or do I choose to accept my over-weight, and accept the health implications that go along with it, and choose to be happy with that?
Well I choose happy and healthy... I accept that there are going to hard times, I accept that some days will be better than others, and i resolve that a bad day will not knock me off the wagon for good. 
So Michelle's tip was to have a positive 'self worth' bank balance.  Spend time on those things that make you feel good, Music, Dancing, a bubble bath,... make deposits to your self worth bank balance!, and stay away from those who constantly make with withdrawals.
I must admit I have been struggling with my time management, and planning.  I feel like I haven't had 5 minutes to myself.. Getting up at 5.15 to walk to work, working all day, coming home and straight to another exercise on Mon, Tues and Fri,  leaving only Wed and Thurs night to even see my kids.  Need to get to bed reasonably early, got to wash and dry my exercise gear, pack my bag and have my lunch prepared before I can go to bed... I'm exhausted.  And I feel like I haven't had any time at all to plan properly, or spend any time on making deposits to my self worth.  
The weekends have been full of SSS training sessions, athletics carnivals and birthdays, this upcoming one is no exception.   Saturday morning is going to be my time... I am hoping the weather is fine, because I want to challenge myself to see if I can run a lap of the lake....I CAN, and this will be a huge deposit

I seem to be waffling now, but I think I gotten to the bottom of this.
I think I was a self saboteur, but I CHOOSE to be healthy, and I will start to do things for myself that will increase my self-worth and start making me believe that I CAN DO THIS, and I WANT TO DO THIS.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

What am I eating?

Whilst Michelle's plan has menu's and nutrition plans that I try to follow, sometimes circumstances, tastes, or lack of ingredients dictate that you have to be flexible.  I am getting good at serving up meals within my calorie count that the family love.

Yesterdays post said I was going to have Pizza for my treat meal, well I lied.
We ended up having Fish and prawns....but I did make the pizza last night to take for lunch today (we were at an athletics carnival, where my eldest daughter won 3 medals and did a P.B) 

Any way, last nights dinner was  crumbed fish (frozen packet)and prawns and 358 calories per serve.
This is the second time I have made this and the family love it.... it certainly doesn't feel like a diet anyway.

My tip is to look hard at the calories on the pack of the fish to determine which has less per serve.
It's easy. Oven bake the fish, serve on a bed of spinach & rocket, and whatever other salad veges you would like (remember to count them).
I just sautéed the cooked prawns in a bit of garlic and sweet chilli sauce, and popped them on top.

This pic is from last time we had this meal, last nights was actually bigger
this is the actual calorie count from my fitness Pal..
 NB* 129 calories is for half a serve of fish,  with 2 pieces being a serve, I only had one piece. 
Today was a red flag day, as we were at an Atheltics carnival all day, and if you are not well organised with food, the canteen with it's hot chips, spring rolls, and pies, or the coffee van with iced chocolates etc, or even the sno-cones van, are far too tempting when you are hot, tired and hungry.

So last night, I cooked up some pizza for us to take today, and I did not frequent any of the aforementioned tempting vendors. My hubby and kids did, but not me.

My pizza's are not diet food, I have always made and eaten these and my family love them.
I use tortilla's as my pizza base, with half a tablespoon of Tomato Paste, and a smidgen of BBQ sauce as my pizza sauce, a very very little bit of grated cheese (too much and they don't crisp up), topped with a little bit of whatever you have ...onion, mushroom, gherkin, ham, pineapple etc.  Mine used turkey meat as I had a little left over from another recipe.
Each of us had two whole pizza's, totalling 398 calories for the two... that beats just 2 slices of Domino's Hawaiian at 450 calories.
I just use the home brand tortilla's from the mexican aisle, but I am sure there are some lower calorie wraps out there, that would make this even better.

yummy - the crispier the better!

Now for tonights dinner... Michelle actually had Pizza on the menu, but as we had that for lunch, I changed it.
We had Grilled chicken, corn on the cob (without butter for me), and salad, with a touch of light mayo... 316 Calories, and boy am I full!

Hopefully, now I have enough stamina to pack my bag for tomorrow, and prep tomorrows lunch. My bed is calling 6.44pm.  

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Saturday Super Session

Well, you may hear/see me mention SSS  or the Saturday Super Session, so I thought I better show you what it is...

Michelle's plan wants us to burn 500 cals each day Mon-Fri, and 1000 cals on Sat, Rest on Sunday.  Saturday because majority of us have the day off work, and its most likely the day when you may need to go out to dinner etc, so it's also the day of the 'treat meal'.
Saturdays mean working extra hard, cutting out your snacks, to give yourself double the calories for your evening meal, and resting on sunday... but if Saturdays doesn't suit, you can do your SSS on any day of the week.

So today, nearing the end of week 1 of the 12WBT I did my first official SSS.
Cass organised a Personal training session with my husband, and asked me to join her at 8am on a saturday morning.  

We skipped (and I figured out that I could actually skip), we did leg-raises, Hindu & Japanese push ups (and for the first time I did push ups on my toes),  we did burpees, and jump lunges up the driveway incline driveway.  We then went out to the street and did shuttle runs, flipped and carried a big heavy tyre, did towel runs, then came back inside for boxing/kickboxing sets. (sets as in 8sets of 2 punches,  8sets of 4 punches,  8sets of 6 punches,  8sets of 8 punches,  8sets of10 punches, back down again with  8sets of 8 punches,  8sets of 6 punches,  8sets of 4 punches, and 8sets of 2 punches....let me tell you, that burns!  almost as much as balancing on one leg on foam, and bouncing a medicine ball against the of 120 times.  Far out!
There was more but my mind has blanked out the pain...Total session burned 700 cals, over 90 mins.

Then after that, ...well after an hour of rest, I went out an mowed our lawns. 
this is not something I would normally do, even under normal circumstances, but our back lawn was so ridiculously long. After rain/sun/rain/sun for weeks, with Joe being out of action with his knee reconstruction, it had got out of control, and with our tiny little electric lawnmower it took me over 90 mins.
I must have emptied that tiny catcher close to 100 times...but I burned another 769 calories. 
That is a total of 1469 calories burned in one morning!  Wahoo!

As for my treat meal tonight, I'm making pizza... a healthy version.
I will post my recipe and photos, and calorie count.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Well it's Wednesday... so you know what that means...
Wed = Wake, Wee & Weigh in 

So today marks an important milestone, and a goal or two achieved.
Today I officially entered the Overweight zone, on the BMI Scale.
I am no longer Obese! And extremely happy with that.

My BMI is now 29.8
BMI Categories:
Underweight = <18.5
Normal weight = 18.5–24.9
Overweight = 25–29.9
Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

Looking at my mini goals, I have achieved a few now, but have more exciting ones ahead.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Science of Weight loss.

Allow me to share with you what I have learned, so far on this journey.  In fact maybe I should have titled this "the mathematics of weightloss" because essentially it's all about the numbers. is that simple!
It's all about Calories in minus Calories out, a deficit results in weight loss, and an excess results in weight gain.
Firstly, you need to calculate your BMR (basal metabolic rate), this is the amount of calories you burn by simply existing. What your body uses to keep you alive, breathing, sleeping, swallowing etc. 
To calculate this, you need to take into account your weight, height, and age. There is a complex formula I could post here for you, but a link to a calculator is much easier.  Find out your BMR here. 
My current BMR is 1640.
If I want to lose weight, I need a caloric deficit.  I am reducing my intake (food) to 1200 calories a day (8400 a week).  I believe this is minimum, any less and your body doesn't get enough and goes into starvation mode, and starts to conserve any fat , preparing for the famine it believes is coming. 
My BMR is 1640 (11480 per week) 
At this stage I am already in deficit, so will lose weight slowly, but to have a more effective result, I need to exercise.  I am aiming to burn an average of 500 calories per day (3500 per week).  I have to add that it is essential to know how many calories you are burning. Guesswork and online calculators can only give you and idea of how many calories you might burn, the only way to really keep track is to use a Heart rate monitor. It is specific for you, set with your height, age and current weight, and can monitor how hard your heart is working and tells you exactly how many calories you are burning. 
This is the HRM I have, and I believe it is the best investment I have made for my health 

So for a week, 
    Calories in (8400) - Calories Out (11480+3500=14900) = - 6500.
Apparently if you have a deficit of 3500 per week, you can expect to lose around 500g that week, 7000 deficit will result in approx 1kg loss. 

Here is an example of what a week's calculations might look like:
If this was my worksheet, I would expect at least a 1kg loss that week.
Simple Maths, right?  That is why it is working. 

So lets look at how I might have been eating before, and look at the Calories in some of those foods that I used to eat regularly.... Now while this is not an example of what I would eat everyday, its not that far off.. especially on a day where I was un-organised, or emotional.

2 slices of Thick Toast, with Butter and Jam = 284 calories
Large Coffee, with full milk and 2 heaped sugars = 262 calories
Large Big Mac Value Meal = 1172 calories
Mars Bar = 251 calories
Smiths Potato Chips (50g bag) = 261 calories
Macaroni Cheese with Bacon (250g serve) = 599 calories

Total piggery for the day 2830 calories!, more than double than what I am eating now, and nowhere near as nutritious.

So if I did no exercise, and had a very sedentary day sitting behind my computer, driving to and from work, taking escalators etc this is how my daily would have looked.

if I ate like that everyday, 1190 x 7 = a weekly caloric excess of 8330,.....  Not really any surprise that I was getting fatter and fatter, is it?

Now lets be realistic, I still like chips and chocolate, but I am learning the cost of what I have to do to burn them off, so they become less inticing.

That packet of chips, has absolutely no nutritional value, so #1 the calories are wasted, and at 261 calories, it takes about 55 mins walking at 5km per hour, to burn that off.

The Big Mac meal could be eliminated by 85mins on a Spin Bike... Stuff That!
So, now you see some of what I have been learning, and with tomorrow being official Day 1 of the 12WBT, lets put all that learning into practise.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Lets see how far I've come!

Today is the day that I have taken my Official Before shots for the" Before and After" photo part of the 12 week body transformation challenge.
I'm not going to post them here..yet, I will post them when I have the afters to compare with.  (they are also Bra & undies shots, so I need to build up some courage to get to revealing those).
I have to say that taking the pics (with the help of my hubby) was not as traumatic as I expected.  The pics weren't has horrific as I anticipated, and I am starting to see how far I have come.
Here are a couple of the non-official before shots (with clothing) that I am using to try and see how far I've come already.
Christmas 2010 ... its a photo of a photo.

May 2011 on a trip back to NZ, .. don't I look miserable.
November 2011...
at this point I was happy to be back in those  cargo shorts,
but  its really  not a good look.

It's funny, I can see when other people have lost weight, but can't really see it on myself. I am getting daily comments from people stating the fact, and it's hard for me to smile and say thanks, when I don't really believe it.. but you know today, I am starting to believe it. 
The process of getting in my underwear and documenting my current body shape, weight and measurements spurred on a few more tests, the results of which I will show you here and now.

These shorts were super tight on this holiday in 2010, 
And in Dec 2011, I was pleased that they were looser..but  it's still not a good look.

Here are the same shorts today.

Here are the grey pants my Mum bought me on one of her visits, these were my staple work pants, fit nicely for ages, and then started getting tight...

May 2011
The same pants today... didn't need to undo the zip to put them on.

Joe then had the bright idea to try on my jeans... I mean THE JEANS, the Levis that have been in my cupboard for 10 years, that I have always wanted to get back into.  I tried them a few weeks back and couldn't get them up over my butt, let alone done up... so I said "no, they are a long way off yet"
... his response.. "humour me!", so I did and ...

and check out that smile on my face.

So over the course of writing todays blog, I am pleased to say I CAN SEE IT!

Todays weight and measurements  (to compare with pre-preseason)

Weight: 88.1kg
Chest: 107cm
Waist: 96cm
Hips: 116cm
Upper Thigh:66cm
Arm: 34cm
BMI: 30.1 Obese
Since Preseason started, I have lost 4.9kg, and at least 10 cm, and reduced my BMI by 1.7
Since I started this journey in August 2011, I have lost 11.8kg 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Secret Women's Business

**WARNING** If you are male, and do not want to read about specific women's health issues, I suggest you stop now..just saying!

Well it's weigh in wednesday... and I am up 300g.  I am not happy about it, as you would expect.

I am however realistic, you see I have my period, and I was half expecting it.  I have always believed that you weigh more at that time of the month, but I didn't know if it was a myth or reality.  Some extensive Googling this morning has shown that on average women can weigh 3-5lb heavier (thats 1.3kg - 2.2kg for those of us in the lands down under) so I am starting to feel a lot better about  only 300g.  
I have not, however, been able to find any Google evidence that this month everything is more severe, the pain, the flow, the inconvenience, because last night was the full moon.  I have had 3 days of hardly anything, then it really hit yesterday, and last night was the stuff nightmares are made of. So bad that I was up 3-4 times, and had a complete outfit change at 4am.  I have called in sick to work today... mainly due to lack of sleep and cramping pains.  I haven't had to do that in years!  
This period is also interfering with my workouts... I missed zumba last night, and my walk this morning. I'm trying to rationalise it... Is it because I feel unsafe.. I mean what if I overflow in the middle of it! Or is it because the pain just drains you of your energy? or was I simply using it as an excuse?  I am feeling guilty for not going to work today, I am also feeling guilty for not exercising last night or this morning... but you know, sometimes you have to give yourself a break, and today is one of those times.  
And today is one of those days when I am getting out my Piece of String and I am very happy to say that my piece of string is now 4 cm longer than it was before.... LOL, it's obvious I can't quite believe my waist circumference is 4cm less, so I say the string is longer!  I did not quite expect to have the string feel that much looser in 24 days.
The Pin is where my waist now ends! 95cm.

I am going to use today, (after I catch up on the lost sleep, and get this pain under control) to catch up on my Michelle Bridges homework.  
Since the say it out loud (emotional breakdown) task, we have been given the 'Kitchen Makeover' task, and the 'Organise and Diarise' task... and I haven't done either yet. Gulp! ....I feel another blog post coming on.
Final Pre-season task of 'Measure up' opens tomorrow, and we get our grocery lists too.   (this shit is getting real, and I am a bit terrified

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Little Champion

Well.. I am half way through I busy weekend with my daughters competing at Little Athletics South Coast regional championships today. It's a 2 day event, so back for another whole day tomorrow.
Despite the tuck shop options of Sausage rolls, Donuts, chips, lollies.. i ate my own carrot sticks, grapes, and corn thins. I came in at 1205 cals eaten for the day, and I am mighty impressed, but was not able to fit in any exercise. I did however volunteer to retrieve the discus so was running around after that quite a bit... but nothing official.  My daughters have both qualified for state championships with my youngest today becoming the under 9 girls regional Discus Champion. 
Isabella (centre) with her Gold Medal, posing with Shot Put Olympian Justin Anlezark
As much as I felt bad not getting in my exercise, It was a worthwhile sacrifice to see that smile on her face. I will get some calories burnt tomorrow for sure, as we have a 2 hour break between events tomorrow, so I'm planning a jog along the Kingscliff beach.  It was hot, hot, hot today... got a bit burnt, so a dip in the ocean might also go down a treat. 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Welcome to the Eighties

Weigh in Wednesday...... Drum roll please!  

That's a loss of 1.9kg this week. Happy Happy Joy Joy!

I felt so wonderful this morning and that has lasted with me all day.
That number also means I am only 1.7kg away from being Overweight... as in moving out of the Obese BMI range, into the Overweight BMI range. That is pretty big, because I have been obese since ... well the 1980's. 

Another wonderful thing that happened today was my walk to the train station.
The walk usually takes about 1hr 13min, (I'd done it twice so thats the average between the two) and my timing on the first day - leaving about 5.45am - meant I  arrived about 6.55-7am, and had to wait until 7.32 before the next train, and then a 15 min wait for the connecting Bus, meaning I got to work at 8.20, not leaving a lot of time to shower and get ready for work.
Last night I discovered that there was a 6.45am train... so I tried to leave 10 mins earlier to be able to make that train.  Ah, nup, didn't happen - still walked out the door at 5.45am

I thought to myself, if I can pick up the pace, and get there within the hour, I can still get that earlier train, and get to work much earlier, and have a really good shower, and a leisurely breakfast....So I set of at pace.  
I talked myself through the urge to stop with a lot of C'mons, and You Can Do It's.  All the while in the back of my mind Unhealthy Me was saying "you can always get that second train" ... but Healthy Me hit back with "Yeah, but I don't want to wait 45 mins for it" and kept going.  I was extremely focused, I actually felt like an athlete.

I had the Run Keeper Iphone App, talking in my ear, telling me every five minutes how far I had come, and my average speed per kilometre. Yesterday I was averaging 11.5 mins per km, today I was averaging 9.5 mins per km... So you will be pleased to know it took me  59.38 minutes, and I literally took my back pack off, and sat down at the platform as the train pulled up. 
 I DID IT! and you could not wipe the smile off my face.
I burned 711 calories, but most amazingly I cut 11 minutes off my time.  I was so incredibly proud of myself.

Also today, my manager put on a special day at work, by cooking crepes for the team for lunch... With the massive variety of fillings available, from Ham and Cheese to Berry Compote and Ice cream with Chocolate topping,  I had crepes with spinach, mushrooms, onions, with a tiny bit of ham and grated cheese, and as I ate, I added my calories onto My Fitness Pal. I was happy that I didn't miss out, I just made sensible choices and accounted for everything.

Coming home late tonight, nothing was organised for dinner, so I stopped at the Supermarket.  This would have (in the old days) resulted in some cardboard Pizza or something equally as nasty (convenient, but nasty).. tonight, this was our meal, coming in at less than the 300 calories budgeted for my dinner.

It was yummo, and going to be on the menu again!