I really wish I could have said, when the going gets tough, the tough get going... because I thought that's what the NEW ME would have done... turns out I was wrong.
My family life, and routine was turned upside down this week, and I thought I was strong enough to handle it, but the week I have had just proves to me that the OLD ME is always just lurking in the background waiting for a weak moment to try and push her way back in.
My hubby had to go to hospital this week. He is chronically ill and unable to wok, so our normal routine is that he is the stay at home Dad, does the school run, does the housework, takes care of all the errands while I go out to work. This is our routine and it works wonderfully. I have been lucky enough to be able to exercise and not have to worry about the kids, because he was there for them.
This week, it was all on me, and finding time to exercise was tough, I managed to still get in my Zumba class, but thats about it. To be honest, I think I could have easily found time to do more exercise, but I used the 'situation' as an excuse... and I let myself get away with it!
But the worst bit of the week was the food I ate... why, why, why!!??!!
Was it emotional? Was is because I didn't have my biggest supporter (my hubby) by my side to keep me on track, or was it because he wasn't here that I had a binge and thought no one would know? Was it because I was worried this would happen, that I did it anyway... self fulfilling prophecy?
It was all 4. And I am so disappointed in myself.
But I am now trying to take responsibility for that, stop the downward spiral in its tracks, and get back on the horse!
I'm going back to pre-season, going to revisit those tasks, and watch the video of promises I made. I'm not going to feel guilty, because this episode has taught me a lesson that I am still vulnerable, and even though the body is 2/3 of the way to where I want it to be, still have a lot of work to do on my head.