Sunday, May 6, 2012

What now?

I've got to say that now the 12 weeks is over, I'm not relieved... I'm apprehensive.  I am changing my mind every two minutes, do another round... don't do another round... Can I afford another $200 right now?  Can I afford not to? Can I continue this journey on my own?  
I really think I can do it on my own, but the proof is in the pudding (um, low fat, low sugar pudding please).
I mean, last week I was determined that I could carry on the same, but it almost feels like my safety net has been removed and ...eek, now I'm scared.

I need to look at this logically, ... what has changed?  I still have the support of my family and friends, I still have the facebook group of 12WBTers that I did this round with (only some are re-signing up,  the rest are still sticking together because we will always be the "Newbies round 1 2012".  I still want this, and I am closer to my goal than I ever believed possible, I have set more mini goals, and I have all the tools - Ive downloaded all the material, so I have no excuse.  The only thing different is I won't have the official 12WBT website to enter my results and get twice weekly messages from Michelle... so why am I scared?

The only solution is not to think of it as a stop. The last day of the 12-week Program is actually both the finish and a starting point. Tomorrow I will start a new 12 week challenge, and follow the same program (including the pre-season tasks) on my own, and If I feel like it was too hard on my own, I will sign up for round three. 

Just now I got an email from Michelle!! Telling me I am in the top 8% of those doing round 1, 2012. OMG how did that happen? 
Melissa, Cass and I are heading to Melbourne for the finale... imagine if I actually came somewhere?  I never thought I'd have a chance at a big prize, so it was never a big motivating factor, but maybe... just maybe there is an inkling of a chance. Maybe I'll winner Blogger of the Round !

I am lucky that I have been following 'The biggest loser' on TV as I have been going through my 12 weeks, and sadly this series is coming to an end as well. It's very inspirational to watch people fighting the same demons as you, and quite comforting to see them when they do struggle because you relate. 
I recently watched the episode where they walked up the mountain, and each each checkpoint they added the weight they lost at a particular week, and they finish the walk carrying the same weight as they did on day one.
I tried my own version of this - I filled my backpack with 2 x 4kg kettle bells, and 5 x 2.5kg weights totalling 20.5kg, (slightly less than what I have lost) and my god!...... I could hardly lift the thing.  I can't believe I was carrying that amount of weight on my poor bones.  It was a really worthwhile exercise, just to feel that weight.
I've Loved watching this series of The Biggest Loser... nothing to do with The Commando, honest.

Anyway, the purpose of this blog post today, was to say... I'm not stopping.  The blog will continue....  
See you soon.

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