You see, I'm an expert at it, always have been. As a kid I quit piano, ballet, netball... the list goes on. I just don't seem to have that that inner spark that says when the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Today I was doing parkrun and I quit. I hurt my hip halfway through and rather than saying "ok, won't be a best time, I'm in a bit of pain, but I can walk to the end"... yeah rather than that...I quit.
And it started me thinking...why am I so good at quitting? What is it about me that chooses to give up, rather than battling through when things get hard? I mean I know I can persevere... I was in far more pain during the Mothers Day classic 8km, and I kept going. I think maybe it hinges on how much I have invested... I mean I paid to enter the Mothers Day Classic, and I had my family at the finish line cheering me on... I had to finish. Today, ParkRun is free, my daughter was running with me (and way ahead) and really the only one I was letting down was me... so I did.
And there we have it. I won't let other people down, but I will let myself down time and time again. Why do I not have the self worth to not want to let myself down?
Looking at my three children, I have two that are like me... will look for any excuse, find the easy way out, give up when it gets hard, ... and I have one who is self motivated, hardworking, and won't quit - even when she wants to. She must take after her father.
I don't know if Quitting is genetic (I can't find any evidence to support that it is - and I spent a whole 4 mins googling it before I quit searching) or if a quitters mentality comes from environmental factors... You know, Shit happens when you are a kid, that makes you not have belief in yourself, and because you don't have that self worth, you don't think you are worth that extra commitment, you let yourself down so you can say ...see I am worthless after all!
I think its a bit of both.
So we have established that I am very good at quitting, however events of the past year have also proven that I can do more than I ever thought I could. It appears that unbeknownst to me, I have slowly been making deposits into my Self Worth Bank, and I have discovered that maybe, just maybe, I don't want to let myself down any more. Maybe I want to quit quitting.
Quitting, or being a quitter, has such a negative connotation, but as addicts know, sometimes quitting is the hard thing to do.
I was a smoker once, years ago, not for very long compared to alot of smokers I know, but I was smoking enough for it to be a problem... and then I quit.
I quit easy. It was easy because I had a reason to, a reason that I wanted more than I wanted to smoke. That reason was singing. I had been asked to join a band, and I knew that I couldn't get through a night of singing and dancing in the audience without losing my voice, so I needed to make sure I had a voice. I came down to singing or smoking, I chose singing. End of story.
So quitting can be a good thing, and seeing as I am an expert at it, I am going on a quitting spree.
With the help of Google, and my supporters, I am going to find out how to be a quitter, find out tips and strategies on how to quit effectively, and I am going to quit the following things :
- Making Excuses
- Soft Drink
- Feeling sorry for myself
... BECAUSE WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING! and I have decided that I am tough enough... after all I plan to do Tough Mudder next year, can't get any tougher than that.
I found an exercise to start with http://www.yournewblueprint.com/Roland/kick-the-quitter-out-your-life/
I am going to 'invest' in a quit sugar book and start on the quest today!