and as usual I started with the berating of myself, the "You're Useless", "You never follow through" blah blah blah, makes me feel worse and less inclined to actually get back on track. Why do I always let myself down?
I mentioned in a previous post that I have recently started a new job, and my new boss is so inspiring. She is super-fit and healthy. We often talk about healthy eating and exercise, and I feel so inspired, and although we do both succumb to the very occasional 3pm sweetfix (ok for her its very occasional, for me a bit more often) in general terms she is a very good influence on me.
We were joking the other day how we could include weigh in results in my KPI's, because I am very conscientious at work, a perfectionist, and if my 'Boss' wants me to do something, I would do it, and do it well.... Obviously it would not be acceptable by our Human Resources department to actually do this (... I mean what workplace would judge your performance on how much you weigh?), but it got me thinking about how I will do whatever if takes to avoid letting down my boss, but I don't bat an eyelid to let myself down, time and time again.
I have realised that if I was the boss of me (erm, excuse me what? I am the boss of me) and I had hired myself to take care of this very important project (my health and body) and I (employee) had made excuses, not turned up when I said I would, made a half-assed effort, cheated, played on Facebook when I should be working, and basically not done anything that was expected of me, then I have no doubt that I would have fired me by now!
I need to start looking at my personal life as a business, or at least a workplace. I am in the business of getting fit and healthy, and I am working on myself The results are easy to measure, and even though the results are their own reward, maybe I do need to 'pay' myself when goals are achieved. I don't get to go to the movies until I have done my work.
Essentially what I need to do is consider myself self-employed in all hours that I am not at work, and hold myself accountable for what happens in those hours.
It means I have to embrace my split personality more, Healthy me is the Boss of Unhealthy me, and I have drawn up a contract with myself to outline what is expected.
Now, as a Boss I am aware that I need to grow and develop my employee, she is not going to know how to do everything straight off the bat, she needs clear guidelines, appropriate coaching and support, and all the tools she needs to succeed.
As with a new employee, or an employee on a performance management plan - which is more of what we are dealing with here - it is important to clearly state what is required, by when, and what the consequences will be if these goals and deadlines are not met. To start with we will have short contract terms, 'review periods' so that we can monitor the progress.
I don't intend to micro-manage my employee, I will meet weekly to discuss performance, results, issues that occurred and to set the new goals for the upcoming week.
We will set the initial 'probation period' of 6 weeks. My Contract with myself is now written and signed, and you can view it here.
Well my new job being responsible for this body starts tomorrow, better go and get prepared.