When the going gets tough... I fall to pieces.

I really wish I could have said, when the going gets tough, the tough get going... because I thought that's what the NEW ME would have done... turns out I was wrong.

My family life, and routine was turned upside down this week, and I thought I was strong enough to handle it, but the week I have had just proves to me that the OLD ME is always just lurking in the background waiting for a weak moment to try and push her way back in.
My hubby had to go to hospital this week. He is chronically ill and unable to wok, so our normal routine is that he is the stay at home Dad, does the school run, does the housework, takes care of all the errands while I go out to work.  This is our routine and it works wonderfully. I have been lucky enough to be able to exercise and not have to worry about the kids, because he was there for them.
This week, it was all on me, and finding time to exercise was tough, I managed to still get in my Zumba class, but thats about it.  To be honest, I think I could have easily found time to do more exercise, but I used the 'situation' as an excuse... and I let myself get away with it!
But the worst bit of the week was the food I ate... why, why, why!!??!!  
Was it emotional? Was is because I didn't have my biggest supporter (my hubby) by my side to keep me on track, or was it because he wasn't here that I had a binge and thought no one would know? Was it because I was worried this would happen, that I did it anyway... self fulfilling prophecy?
It was all 4. And I am so disappointed in myself.
But I am now trying to take responsibility for that, stop the downward spiral in its tracks, and get back on the horse!

I'm going back to pre-season, going to revisit those tasks, and watch the video of promises I made. I'm not going to feel guilty, because this episode has taught me a lesson that I am still vulnerable, and even though the body is 2/3 of the way to where I want it to be, still have a lot of work to do on my head.

Comfort Zone

So it is time to dig down into the depths of my soul and turn over a new leaf... and in honour of this month of March, I'll be turning over a new Autumn leaf.

MARCH MANTRA

I can do it

I will push past my barriers

I will step outside my comfort zone

I don't need motivation, I will Just Do It

Comfort / Comfortable ... definition?  Providing physical ease and relaxation. Well physical ease is not going get me to my goal weight, and it's sure as hell not going to help me run in the GCMarathon later in the year.  

Barrier ... obstacle that prevents movement or access. Well there are no actual barriers, only ones I have put up with my own mind.

Motivation...  The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.  I have that desire but I have learned from Michelle Bridges that Motivation in a crock of shit (excuse my language).   Motivation is great when you've got it, but when you haven't, not having it is an easy to use excuse... "i'm just not motivated".  
I have figured it out. It's up to me. There is no magic wand. I either do it or I don't. If I want it, I gotta do it. Simple. 

So ... Going outside my comfort zone means

• Running past the point when it hurts
• Feeling the fear and doing it anyway
• Trying things I have never tried before
• Saying Yes to new opportunities, rather than staying put
• Taking risks and facing my fears
• be adventurous, rather than safe
• Taking on challenges

Without planning it this way, I have already started doing this. Probably a logical by-product of my transforming body, and my transforming mindset (law of attraction), I have recently applied for an internal promotion and I got the job! It means leaving the security of the job I have been doing for 2 years, and am now really comfortable with, to take on a completely different focus.  I know I can do it, but there are certain aspects of the job that are daunting.  It means having to be more vocal at meetings, and dealing with confrontation on occasion (which does scare the crap out of me) but I know I can do it when I have to, so I will. 

Even going to my Zumba class all those months ago was 'uncomfortable' going by myself, but I sucked it up and went, and have met so many wonderful ladies at the class now, and was definitely rewarded for that act of courage.  At tonight's class, when I was on stage shaking it with the instructor for 4 routines, I thought to myself "Can you even believe this! You... on stage... dancing in front of a room full of people! Look how far you have come". Seriously a year ago that was so far out of the realm of possibility of being anywhere near the edge of my comfort zone.

Geez even spilling all in my blog was out of my comfort zone, this whole 12 week challenge was out of my comfort zone, and I have found that once you test those boundaries, and step outside... it doesn't take long for these new things to become comfortable and the comfort zone expands, so you constantly need to be looking for new challenges and goals. 

This weekend coming I will be stepping out of my comfort zone again.

I'm going surfing!  

Our social club is doing a learn to surf lesson, and seeing as I have already paid for it with my $2 a week, I might as well do it.  However I RSVP'd weeks ago, with this thing in my mind that something would come up to stop (save) me... Isabella's surgery, Joe's training... blah blah blah. It was supposed to be last Saturday but it was rained off, so its now on this Sunday and there is not a single reason why I can't do it.

I don't know why I'm scared... Is it water? I don't particularly like waves at the beach, as I feel 'out of control' in the ocean.  Is it because I think I will fail, and look stupid? is it purely because I don't want my workmates to see me in my swimwear? (Gotta say, a lot happier about this now than I would have been 9 months ago).  At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what causes the anxiety, what's important is overcoming it!

Hopefully I will be able to get a pic to post here to prove to you all that I did it! I am actually becoming excited, rather than apprehensive.. and I can't quite believe it. 

12WBT Weigh in tomorrow, so I will post again tomorrow with my stats.

See you then. 

Fail to Plan? Then Plan to Fail.

Our Overseas guests have arrived, My two weeks annual leave has started, now the challenge to find time to exercise, and eat the correct things really begins.


Got up at 5am, for a walk around the lake with Mel. Now on with the day.


We will be spending today at Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary, which luckily means quite a bit of walking around, but it also means I have the dilemma of what to eat.


The old me would have probably headed of without breakfast, and then just had a plate of wedges or something when I got really hungry, grabbed a bag of chips, a coke and a choc bar when really started to fade, then after a fun day out I would've said to my husband, "I'm too exhausted to organise dinner, how about we drive through Macca's on the way home".
As pathetic as it sounds, it is accurate... and freaking expensive! 


Where I fall down is my failure to plan in advance.  When I haven't organised and already made definite decision as to what will be going in my mouth, I choose whatever is around, which is generally high in fat, low in nutrients, and expensive because I am paying someone else to prepare it for me.  Yes that is right, paying someone to feed me crap... all because I was too unorganised.




The new me however has planned for our day out.

• I have packed my water bottle.
• I have made a Quinoa Salad, and packed 9 forks.
• I have made some mini fruit salads to share.
• I have snaplock bags containing rice crackers.
• And because we will have 5 children on today's adventure, I have packed a 6 pack of juices.

We have all had a good breakfast before heading out, and I have set up the Slow cooker to be ready when we get home.


Now I am planning to Succeed!  FAIL is not a word I am allowing in my vocabulary today.