Crikey ... I haven't seen you in a while.

Well, Where have I been?  2 weeks of slience?
Honestly I have been hiding from you.  I have not been prepared to fess up to the total and utter relapse that has occurred.  Crikey, I hadn't seen her for a while ...but the old me is back, the old habits are back, the old lies and excuses and laziness, have snuck up behind me, ambushed me and left me dazed and confused. 
I knew it had happened, I pretended it hadn't by telling myself I'm just taking a break, but now at 6 weeks into my 2nd round of 12WBT I have not progressed any further towards my goal.  Although I am happy to say I have not put on weight, I haven't lost any either, and I have lost my way. 


I'm just sitting here listening to the bullshit I have been telling myself about why I have not done what I said I would. 


Its Winter, It's too cold, dark, wet to get up early to train
I've been too tired to plan, or record correctly 
I haven't had time to prepare healthy food
I've been stressed, so i've been emotional eating
I can't say no when there is all this food around, and it's a special occasion.
I've been sick, and chocolate makes me feels better.


Yep... heard it all before. 23 kilos ago.... so I ask myself this question...

So here I am... frantically searching for Motivation to get back up on my feet, and back on track, the track towards my own finish line. 


So Motivation .... where do you find it?  It's not in the pantry or the fridge (I looked, and while I was there.... *sigh*), and it's not falling on my lap while lying in bed or on the sofa, and believe it or not (and this is a shocker!) it's not on Facebook or Pinterest - although a lot of pages seem to be motivation, but just reading about it doesn't make it happen.


Being so far behind on my Michelle Bridges program, I decided that may be  the best place to start with Week 6's video messages...  and lo and behold this weeks mindset message is about... drum roll please...

I love how Michelle puts it, Motivation is a Crock of sh*t!


Motivation is like a Bad Boyfriend,...
NEVER there when you need it most!


The answer is to not wait for motivation to strike, the answer is to just do it, day in, day out.... CONSISTENCY.  This is what I have lost, and the only way to get that back is to JFDI. 

Here we go folks... 

What have I gotten myself in for?

Why oh why did I post this on Facebook?
  

6 hours in and I had 56 'Likes'.... by 9.30pm Monday I had 65... 2 and a half hours before the deadline.... will there be anymore?
So in my excitement of discovering parkrun, and entering all these fun runs... have I over estimated myself?    


Plan of attack:
Mon, Wed, Thurs - Run the 4km Lake or Run Part of my 6.5km walk to work (4km x 3 = 12km)
Sat - Park Run (5km)
that is 17km per week, minimum.
4 weeks until 12WBT finishes  17km x 4weeks = 68km .... I CAN DO THIS!


I will dedicate each km to a person who 'liked', and during that Km I will think about them, and use them to help me through it.

You see, Motivation to get up and "JFDI" is difficult, well when you are Motivated it's easy, it's when that nasty motivation is hiding, and you just can't find it wherever you look... that's where the struggle comes.  I know from experience that I promise myself the world, and let myself down time and time again, but when I promise someone else something, then I absolutely HATE letting them down. So thanks to everyone who participated in this, your one little click is going to keep me motivated... This is one challenge I am not going to forget in a hurry.


In other news... It's the end of the 4 day weekend, back to work tomorrow, and  less than 36 hours until Weigh in.  I want my weight to start with a 7 sooooo badly.  This morning I was 300g away.  I'm so close I can taste it, and boy it is easier to resist chocolate easter eggs when you are that close to something you want!


Week 9 of the programme has Michelle introducing Accelerator Days, where on a Tuesday we will eat no simple carbohydrates. No fruit, no bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, or excess sugar. Our day will consist of vegetables and protein. This is designed to accelerate our weight loss, reduce water retention and boost the intake of vegetables. Cass swears by them, so I am looking forward to seeing what affect it has on the scales.

Breakky - My Egg will be boiled instead 

Lunch is a Fritatta with Salad

Next post will be the Weigh in Result... wish me Luck!