Wake Up ... and smell the coffee

So here I am feeling sorry for myself, because I think I have failed in this second round of 12WBT, and for those of you who know me, Failure is not something that I like to experience (well who does).  But you know what, a small fail here and there, does not mean that success is now out of the question.   

FALL DOWN 9 TIMES, GET UP 10

I went back to my Pre-Season task of 'Set your goals', and looked at what I wrote in that task about 10 weeks back ...  
I said at one month into the round i wanted to have achieved : A 10km run, to beat my 5km PB, and run under 35mins, and my weight to be 76kg.
I actually achieved all of those before schedule - (my weight is now 77kg, but I did achieve 76kg by the 4 week mark)... WAKE UP MANDY, THAT IS NOT FAILURE.


Right now I am definitely behind schedule to achieve my next lot of goals, my three month goals, but I can do it.... and If I don't, I will pick myself back up, dust myself off and keep going.


This journey is definitely a rollercoaster of ups and downs, highs and lows,  successes and failures... but at the end of the ride I will be ecstatic that I did it.


I have done too much, and worked to hard to throw my hands in the air and say 'its too hard, I give up'.   I've done that before, and it doesn't work, I end up back at the start wishing I was where I am now... that is one huge waste of energy.  I just have to keep going, one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, forever.... there is no end, this is a journey to a new life, a new lifestyle, and when I get there the purpose is not to then stop and turn around, but to enjoy the view, and then start the journey to a new more exciting, dream fulfilling destination.

  
I have started this journey before, multiple times, and I always turned back when it got too hard, I have even got this far in the journey at least 3 times, and didn't make it to the end, I can't do it this time, I have to keep moving, I am running out of time.
This time is different though, I must admit. I was talking with Cass last night and we had a little lightbulb moment... the other times were diets, be it weightwatchers or similar, and exercise was the secondary focus. I would exercise to get bonus points etc, but I would never really like it.  

This time, with the 12WBT, I have learned to love exercise, I have changed into someone who has an active life, and the eating is the secondary focus.  I believe this is what will keep me going. If I slip on the eating, but I remain active, I will not relapse like previous efforts, and if I focus on the food as well... well the world is my oyster.